Sunday, April 20, 2008
Last night I went to the fullmoon labyrinth walk with Kat. We went to the last full moon candlelit labyrinth moon walk for 2007 and last night was the first one of the year for the 2008 season.

The night was cold with the kind of chill that makes your bones shiver and the anticipation of the cold was trying to convince me that tonight was not a good night to go. But I knew there were things I needed from the full moon walk and I knew I needed to go.

The labyrinth was darker than I remembered it from last years walk. There were three ladies on the maze as we walked up and they were talking while walking. I immediatley got irritated at their disrespect and said "Shhhh" before I started. They did stop talking but for the first section of the walk I couldn't pull my focus from them to me.

I then started thinking about recent choices I have made and why things have seemed so hard in this recent process. While doing that I grabbed my pentacle (which was the one that Kathryn and Ariana gave me when I got my third degree) and I thought "I love this pendant". And I questioned why I haven't been wearing it. I remembered when I first took it off and I remembered a statement that was made to me about the necklace from someone about how others "might have a problem with it" and at the time I didn't think they were related or affected me but they did. That realization hit me like a ton of bricks while walking.

Right after that I asked myself "why do I care?" About two steps after that I almost fell completely off the path. Not step off the path but fall completely over. I rebalanced and thought "god damn it takes hard work to stay on the path." AHA!!!!!!!

I think I am falling off the path. I don't think I allowed myself the time to become stable and secure in my place on my path before throwing a curve ball towards me. And at what point can someones statement or others views contribute to me pulling back from what I have worked towards for almost 6 years. If it was a master's degree in college, would I allow others thoughts to invalidate my degree? I am responsible for how I allow others to affect me and that is something I need to remember.

This is what I got on the trip inward on my journey. Interestingly when I got to the middle I felt relieved. I felt like I got some answers. I have rushed myself, I have not stayed true to my path, I have allowed outside interference to affect me and have not stood as proudly in my accomplishments.

On the way out there were two things that were profound to me. One was that there was a lady who was walking also and was at a faster pace. In my mind I knew she needed to pass us but I had to start reminding myself "don't look back, don't look back". I realized how I concentrated on someone elses path instead of staying focused on my own. With the exception of those whom I am responsible for like my kids, or those whom have entrusted me to be their spiritual mentor, I should not be worried about other people's path.

And there was this part of the path that I couldn't really see and I found myself getting anxious. And then I had to think in this maze, I will just catch my balance. What is the worse that can happen. I just have to find the path when it is unclear and catch my balance when it is off.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
This has been an interesting week. Isn't it amazing how a week can start off one way and drastically change direction within the course of several days? Or sometimes minutes?

This week has been full of disappointments, interesting dynamics, crazy work schedules, strange decisions and unanswered questions. As I finish off the week part of me is saying, "woohoo!!!" and the other part is reminding me to soak in the lessons of this week and not take them for granted.

Here is a short yet interesting list of some of the things I have learned or reminded of in the past 6 days:

* own your power
* clear communication is good communication
* don't over extend yourself
* trust your answers
* don't assume that things are ok
* relationships take work
* sometimes being fair takes conscious thought
* speaking your mind doesn't mean that it will be heard
* everyone sees life through a different set of lenses
* When you miss someone, call them
* trust my instincts
* Personal boundaries are some of the hardest to enforce

I am sure this list could go on and on. I am glad I am getting something out of the week of strange experiences, it makes it all worth it. I think my goal for this year will be to remember my own integrity and personal power so I can use it is a supportive and responsible way.

Blessed be!
Sunday, April 06, 2008
This may be one of those blogs that turn into the oh so famous crystal articles.......... so interesting how that happens. I don't know where to start with this thought so I will just jump in anywhere. For those of us who practice the craft we always here the discussions about training or opinions on the "traditional" people versus the eclectic people. I gotta say I can't stand those conversations.

I am so irritated with hearing opinions of who thinks who is really trained or "what tradition is real witchcraft" versus the eclectics. Here is what i don't understand, who cares? Don't people get tired of being so worried about how other people's training add up to their ideals?

Let me be the first to say that I am a trained eclectic Wiccan practitioner who is proud to have trained in the manner in which I did. I have been trained in a tradition that is founded on respect, tolerance and differences. Because of this I find it so hard to understand when others think they hold the keys to the "right way" of practicing the craft. As I embark on continuing and branching out I am caught off guard at how often I am hearing comments speaking against eclectic paths. It is frustrating and amazing at the same time. I am amazed that people do not consider how offensive they might be. What community do we create when we can justify those types of divides within the community? What is the real purpose of doing such? Do people really think that they are the only ones who can measure others practice or training styles?

Here is how I view the eclectic versus the traditional saga. I see such strengths on both sides of training and practice. Being eclectic can be wonderful because it teaches you to be creative with your concepts of deity and worship. It gives a big enough box to work inside of so that one can explore different sides and angles of the craft. It takes a strong person to truly train in an eclectic tradition because it requires that someone be disciplined enough to learn in a tradition where there are many options and variables. More "traditional" paths have strengths too. There is a history of practice and knowledge. There is a uniformity to practice that can lend to a common expectation of the followers of that path which can lend to the power of the work.

There are disadvantages to both sides too but I think that defeats the point of where I am going here. For those who are busy making judgments of the eclectics of the craft I think it is a strong possibility that you need to go back to your training guides and review the sections on working with others, creating community, tolerance, humility, respect, being open minded to differences and whatever else you may or may not have received the first time. If those things are not a part of your training then now is a perfect time to create them. They can be passed down to those who come after us.

This is not coming from a place of anger but rather a place of sincere concern at the state of a community that so harshly judges each other instead of finding ways to bridge the gap among our own. I hope this continues to change as the pagan world progresses to higher places in our development as a community.

I chose not to stand on one side or the other but if I felt I had to, the choice is already made...............there is no choice. My foundation is that of a Wiccan High Priestess of two traditions that are based in love, balance, understanding, tolerance and honoring of the differences that make this community of talented people so great. Won't you join me?





Hubbie and I

Hubbie and I