Rev. Crystal's Full Moon Blessings

Believe it or not, I got to see two of the most incredible singers in one month. And once again, Jody was awesome enough to take me with her.

Lisa Gerrard sang at the Palace of Fine arts in San Francisco. We got there and the venue was gorgeous outside. We got inside and saw the stage and it was so elegant. There was this soft white material draped on the stage. She came out, escourted by someone. She was in this beautiful blue dress and stood on the stage. She didn't say a word and just started singing some of the most beautiful words I had ever heard. (although I couldn't understand what they were saying)

She sang that way without talking thru any of the songs. She changed halfway thru the set into a beautiful white dress and continued to bellow out some of the purest sounds I have ever heard.

She didn't speak one word until the end of the show when she thanked her assistant and thanked the audience.

She had such a mysterious quality about her that intrigued me to want to know more about her story.

Another beautiful and spiritual night of live music. Thank you Jody.
Blessings.

I went to see Loreena at the Paramount with Jody (my birthday treat) and she was incredible!! I wasn't sure what to expect, all I knew was that I have loved her music for a couple of years now and never expected another album. And when I got the notice that An Ancient Muse was coming out, I was shocked. And when Jody told me she was coming out to Oakland for concert, I was further shocked.

The paramout was packed with people there for the same reason. She was beautiful and sang like an angel. I turned around and told Jody that this was like having a 2 and 1/2 hour spiritual experience. She was incredible.....words cannot describe.

She danced and sang and talked about the history of the celts and her travels that inspired each song. I was amazed by her stories and her travels.

Absolutely one of the best experiences of my life.

I am on the tale end of the 3rd degree studies and I am finding that I am not struggling with the work but instead struggling with my emotions around it.

So as you know or have read, I recently went through a situation with some "friends" who are no longer a part of my life. And with this crew many of the "issues" revolved around thier impressions that I was full of myself and fighting for power. Neither of which is true and I do understand that thier issues with me really have little to do with me and more to do with what they don't like when they look in the mirror. But never the less, these were the reasons used to portray me as someone I am not.

When doing work with my mentor around why I am stuck and sitting in this place where I just haven't finished my third degree requirements, I came to a good conclusion that it is situations like this that make it harder for me complete. I have created this core belief in my head that when I am successful at something, people will be upset with me.

I have less than a weeks worth of assignments to do and can't finish because I am afraid someone else will be upset with me for accomplishing my goals. Sounds ridiculous and sometimes core beliefs are.

I know that I only have myself to prove anything to. And I also know that it takes an extremely insecure person to be offended by another's accomplishments. And I don't care about the feelings of those who are not my friends anymore. So it is just a matter of removing those core beliefs that no longer serve me so that I may continue to grow.

Dia is hopefully coming out here late summer to do my initiation. I can't wait.

We moved in on April 7th. It is a nice home and we are all comfortable in it. Throughout all the stress and worry, we found a nice place that suites our family better than the one we just moved from.

So after a month in the new home, business is back to normal. We are all settled in and have even mowed the lawn twice. Robert is enjoying the backyard the most and loves to use his scooter on the back covered patio. My mom is enjoying the fact that it is one level and she isn't going up steps anymore. But she is still getting exercise by walking the length of the house since it is long and on a double lot.

I think the Jon, Kevin and I are just enjoying the fact that there is a family room with a seperate space for privacy.

The universe, Lord and Lady heard our prayers and answered. We were able to get enough money from various sources to pay for everything we needed. Including getting a lot of our security deposit back from the other house when it felt like the landlord was set on finding ways to keep our money. In the end, he was fair.

And once again we are renewed in our faith in spirit and in the power of manifestation.

I had the pleasure of meeting the author Kim Harrison tonight. She was great. She came to the Barnes and Nobles in Oakland as a part of her tour for the new book. She read a part of the new book to the audience and then did a question and answer session. She had a great sense of humor and was really down to earth.

I got some great pics of her and my book signed. I am excited to read the new book!

Thanks Kim!!
Blessed Be!!!!

I always find it interesting that people try to fight for power when there is no fight. I have come across these types of people who have a feeling of inferiority when around others who are outspoken or who are take charge people.

I would like to say to people like this, get over yourself. Other people are not doing things to challenge your place in the world. Sometimes people are just who they are and it is really your issue (not thiers) that you feel threatened by them.

It is actually sad and funny at the same time. I think my personality and drive to get things done seem to attract these kinds of people and then inevidably creates tension that is unwarranted.

Fortunatley I get that and I am not in the business of finding power by creating struggles with others. I am grateful that I do not feel the need to discover my own self worth by standing on the feet of others.

I wish everyone could find that within themselves and stop looking for your worth as a person or a leader through the eyes of another. If you need that kind of validation from others in order to be an upstanding leader, you will never make it. Good luck and Blessed be.

I had an incredible experience at Pantheacon on Saturday. Mica and Ariana came and picked me up at about 7:20 in the morning and we were on the way to pick up Jade and her friend. We arrived at the Double Tree hotel at about 8:20AM and parked and checked into the festival.

Being the witches that we are, we had already picked out and organized what we were going to participate in at the festival and that was a process in itself. With 13 choices to pick from in the 9:00AM timeslot, we felt it was necessary to do before hand. So, we already knew we were going to a ritual in the morning for awakening the self with the CAYA coven.

I have met the leader of this coven a couple of times and she is wonderful in my memory of her. And when we went into the ritual room, she was more incredible than I had remembered and that is saying a lot. The ritual was memorable for me. She was beautiful with such grace and presence. She sang with the most beautiful voice and it was so moving for me.

There was a part of the ritual where we were opening ourselves to ourselves and receiving whatever we needed, and the drum was playing in the background and we began to sing this beautiful song. I found myself sobbing and was quite taken aback from it in the beginning. There was something so profound within the ritual that was exactly what I needed in that very moment and asking for the way to be open to me. I realize it was a much needed cry and one that was full of gratitude and love for the beauty of this path that I have found in Paganism.

After the ritual and many tears later, I thanked her for her gifts. And we were off to our next amazing journey in the land of Pantheacon.

So our next seminar was with the beautiful soul called Christopher Penczak on the topic of Invocation, channeling and the oracular mysteries. And I can honestly say he was such a dynamic, down to earth and brilliant presenter. I am not sure how else to describe how great he was. I was so fascinated by not just the topic but his delivery and was unable to take effective notes, LOL!!

At the end of the session he guided us through a meditation to go into trance and speak with the gate keeper and possibly make contact with a spirit or deity to possibly build a relationship with for future invocation work.

I had one of the most interesting meditation experiences I have ever had. Several things presented themselves to me that had a lot of symbolism. The tree I visualized was huge and full of life and large bushy leaves. When walking past the stream in the meditation, a spider tangled in string, not web but man made string, was trying desperately to get to me. My gate keeper was clearly my spirit guide Halmina and she was her usual loving self. When I walked across the bridge to meet the spirit, there was no doubt that it was Cerridwen sitting in front of her cauldron. She was telling me that I needed to build my house. And then there were several flashes of a toilet that was broken. And she made reference to not being able to get rid of my waste, specifically emotional waste.

She talked about what she wanted from me was to give knowledge to others in exchange for her wisdom and guidance.

There is so much in that visualization and I knew almost immediately what a lot of it was referring to.

Before the seminar, Mr. Penczak signed a book for me. I thanked him for writing me an email once on one of my articles that he liked. I honestly didn’t expect him to remember me or anything remotely close, but wanted to say thanks for taking the time to write a personal message to someone like me regarding a piece of my soul he read via the internet. Those things are important to those like me who are just stepping out and learning to put their work out in a large medium. He immediately said, “oh yeah, Witchvox right? I remember that article, it was a good one”. I was so shocked because I hadn’t told him my name, the name of the article or where the article was. I had just said thank you and he actually remembered my work. What a nice blessing he gave to me and heprobably doesn’t even realize what it means to me.

After the seminar, Mr. Penczak let me take a picture of him, what a sweet man.

My next seminar was Margot Alder, writer of Drawing down the Moon. What a dynamic woman, full of unbelievable knowledge. She was able to talk about preparing the revision for the book after 15 years and all the new information, people, traditions and growth that the pagan community has made. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to her and all her knowledge. I was able to also get my book signed by her and a picture taken with her, which was an extra blessing.

The next seminar was on Gardenarian historical documents and information. It was an incredible and informative seminar that provided lots of information into the history of Wicca from the Gardner days.

We were so exhausted after 4 seminars that were 1 ½ hours long each that we decided to check out the vendors and then go do something we hadn’t done all day……….eat.

Of course there was lots of awesome vendors. I got my long desired amethyst runes and a Libana CD I didn’t have.

After shopping, we ended up at the Olive garden for dinner and then drove home.

What a beautiful day of exploration, community, knowledge and love. Thank the Gods for my ability to not only afford to go but also have wonderful coven sisters to go with and for having such amazing speakers to send a much needed message to my ears today.

Sometimes the challenge of life can be confusing, especially when you follow a path of the universe and try to find the mysteries as they are brought to you. I find that many times, I am trying to connect the lessons I am suppose to learn with the events that are happening in my life and sometimes there is no other connection besides the fact that life sucks sometimes. And coming to a place to "live life on life’s terms" sucks, can be confusing and it hurts.

But I also find that there are those events that are just life in motion with no rhyme or reason, and we find that we still become stronger by just walking through the turmoil that is considered life. I am always a person that looks at someone and measures my insides by their outsides and then wonder why everyone else’s life is so smooth sailing. But I continue to come to a place of understanding that life is full of trials and no matter how someone elses life looks like it is smooth; they are learning their lessons too. And most likely they are looking at another person’s life and doing the same thing by judging their lives against another.

I have found lately that the more out of control my life feels, the harder I am working to control the areas in my life that I can control. The best example of this is my house. I have been cleaning excessively lately. I think it is like measuring how my life is based on how my house looks and the messier it is, the messier I feel inside.

It gives me a pretty clean house most of the time but doesn’t really address the feelings of uncertainty that are happening inside. I think there is a certain piece of acceptance that I am struggling with understanding. Accepting that life is full of mysteries and I am not meant to understand them all. Accepting that life is painful sometimes and that it is the journey that makes my soul grows, so either way I am still moving in the right direction. It is understanding that it is not always my issue that I am forced to deal with and I have a choice not to take on other people’s baggage. I have enough of my own and I don’t have to carry someone else’s too. It is accepting that everyone has an opinion and although it is right to them, that is their truth within their world view and has very little to do with me.

I am grateful that I have learned enough in my journey to get me this far in my understanding but I know I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go.

Sometimes these things happen and they have such spiritual significance that they can’t go unnoticed. Last week I started having these interesting dreams and two stick out immediately. One dream where I found out that my husband was cheating on me with a friend. I remember feeling such a sense of betrayal from both parties. It was such a real dream that I woke up and said to my husband, "thanks for cheating on me and ruining the family". Oh course he had no idea what I was talking about until I could calm down enough to tell him of the dream.

The second dream was a couple of days later and I dreamed I was seeing a person who is really close to my heart, although I don’t see him much. Paul was in my dream and he came over to me and we hugged for a while. And he told me how much he missed me and how I will always be an important person in his life. And I remember crying in the dream because I had missed him so much. And then I noticed that he had on a hospital gown and he told me he was really sick. I remember not knowing if that meant he was dying and leaving me again.

From there the dream changed a little and we were standing, arm in arm, in front of my old friend casket. I remember sobbing in Paul’s arms and explaining that I watched him die and could never forget the look on his face. I felt such despair for the loss I was feeling that it was overwhelming.

I woke up from this dream crying and had a hard time coping all day.
How interesting that those dreams mirror the feeling of loss that are creeping into my life right now.

When the universe speaks, I will listen. I am listening now although I am not sure what lesson it is I am suppose to be learning. But I am listening………………still listening.

So I don't know if anyone else has the feeling of relief that comes at the end of the holidays but I do. I am so darned glad they are over that I don't know what to do. All the pressure, financial problems, parties, white elephant games, etc. I will just be glad to have weekends back to myself and less pressure to make the world happy.

New years was good for the most part. Spent it with family. Started off the new years with drama but thus is life. the family will be fine, like always.

A close friend's mom died this past weekend and that has made me very sad for her. Sometimes things happen and we fell so powerless in life.

I am looking forward to getting together wth the ladies to do a fullmoon ritual on Wednesday. I think we can all use it.

Well, life is full of curve balls and we can never anticipate the route that the universe has chosen for our lives at any given time. But besides all of that, life is good. I was driving back from the hair dresser yesterday and the thought crossed my mind that I am really happen with our new surroundings and the move. I feel good driving thru the city and looking at the neighborhood in which we now live. I feel such pride at being able to accomplish this for my family.

The holidays are here and with the holidays come such different ranges of stress. I can say that we luckily finished all of our shopping early this year and do not have to rush the last couple of weeks before the holiday. but it is such a hardship to worry about money, gifts, parties, visits, etc. I will be happy when the holidays are winding down and life goes back to some sense of normalcy.

Yule on the other hand, I am happy Yule is here. the coming of Yule brings the rebirth of the sun and the first glimpses of the growing of the sun back into our lives. and the opportunity for renewal and rebirth. I am looking forward to the new year and the possibilities it brings.
I send lots of yuletide blessings to all. May you find peace in the rebirth of the sun and the coming of the light.

Blessings!! Blessed Yule. Happy Holidays. Bring back the sun!

So, Robert was at a birthday party on Sunday. He was running and tripped and hit his mouth on the shoe rack and busted his mouth open. By the time he got home to me his tooth was hanging and we had to take him to an emergency dental appointment. So he is now missing his front tooth, swollen lips and a cut on his chin.

The big feasting holiday has past and it makes it all that much more real that Yule and the Winter holiday is that much closer. I hate how the Season has become more and more commercialized thru the years. It takes away all the specialness of the season and instead makes it more about money and shopping.

Thanksgiving was great as usual. Jon's family came over and Jody came over. We ate lots of food and wow the greens, mac and cheese and ham were so darned good. We just all sat around and talked the whole night. Banana pudding, pecan pie and my famous pumkin pie were deserts for the evening.

I spent the rest of the weekend reading for my degree studies, shopping and cleaning. I got word back from my second degree mentor from witchschool to tell me that i passed the 2nd degree final with a 97%!!! So I am finished with my degree studies with them and working on my third degree with FWTI.

I have been missing Marian and my dad lately. Two people I care a lot about and am not able to be with for one reason or another. I had plans on seeing Marian this weekend but Joey is sick and I wasn't able to come over. So I will shoot for next weekend.

Anyhow, that is a quick update on things, holidays and life. And the holiday crap has just begun!

Blessed Be

Ok, so we had the ancestor altar set up, the candle lit and did dinner to celebrate them. As we sat around the table, we told great stories of our family that had passed.

So, around 9:00pm I went into the kitchen to throw something in the trash and all was well. About 10 minutes later Kevin went into the kitchen and the front door was wide open. Our front door is not easy to open so we immediately felt strange. Jon got up and checked things out. I got out the sage stick and began saging the house.

When I came back downstairs from saging Jon said, "I don't wanna freak you out but someone knocked at the door". Obviously there was no one there. He said it was a wierd knock, like it was far away or something. And he said he definatley felt something when it happened. (for those of you who don't know, Jon is energy sensitive)

So, needless to say, we saged some more. We then broke down the ancestor altar, thanked them but sent them on thier way and then sat to watch a movie.

Everything else seemed fine and nothing else happened after that. But it was definatley a weird experience. LOL!

I am not sure why all of a sudden I am spirit sensitive, but it is creepy.
Many blessings.

Well, the new year is here. I am excited. I think this year has had a lot of things for me and I am looking forward to continuing the momentum of growth into the next year. There have been some good and definatley some bad but for the most part I can look back at the past year and see why I have had to go thru each and everything thing.

In ritual the other night we buried what we were giving back to the mother goddess (and keeping the lessons we have learned) and then put our wishes into the Cerridwen's brew to drink into the coming year. I see big things ahead for me this year.

I plan on finishing my book on balance and Walking the path of a true Wiccan. I see editing the kids book that i finished over a year ago on yule. (and hopefully some publishing stuff too) I see finishing the third degree. I see continued growth for the Danse of the Spirit Moon tradition, FWTI (Family Wiccan Traditition) and the Rise of the Phoenix Moon family trad that my family carries. Whew, that was a mouth full!!!

I see great growth with the FWTI and where that is going. I am nervous about the possibility of unexpected, fast growth but I know that we are going to take this to new places that other organizations in the Wiccan community have not gone. I am excited about that. I never expected to be nominated to become a board member of FWTI and am honored to serve.

I see continued stability for the family and where we want to go in our life. We are closer than ever and continuing to hang tight threw all the storms. The goddess put us together for a reason and we are all holding on tight.

So, this year should be great for everyone and I am looking forward to another wonderful year that will help me grow in my path to enlightenment. (I am working on it, LOL)

Many blessings to all. Blessed Samhain! Blessed Harvest!! Celebrate the cycle of death and rebirth.

Blessed Be
Rev. Crystal

So the people who are in my everyday life know the stuggle that has happened in the last several years. There have been many ups and many, many downs as well. And thus is life. I have been very grateful for the opportunities I have been given to grow within my spritual path because I feel like it has been the one consistent thing in the storms that have passed me and my family.

So, the time has finally arrived where I am studying for my third degree. It is strange because I am overly critical of myself and have held myself back for fear that I was not ready. But I am slowly coming to a place of understanding that I am ready. It has been a long time coming. And after talking to someone who is very special in my spiritual path (Thanks Dia) I am beginning to really understand that I am not that far away. There are some things I definatley have to work on but I am further a long than I gave myself credit for.

So right now, I am really settling into the place I am at in my journey. Between the SSC sisters, The Dance of the Spirit moon tradition (shout out to Jody) and FWTI, I am quite happy with wear my journey is leading me.

And not to mention, I AM WORKING ON THAT BOOK!!!

Blessed Be!

I am back from Salem and trying to adjust to California time. The jetlag this time was much worse than last, I am not too sure why.

The plane ride both ways was good, the landing into boston was a little rough (lots of fog and rain at the time). Everything went smoothly, the shuttle was ontime, no lost baggage, planes ontime, etc. We checked into the historic Hawthorne Hotel (I will do a seperate blog on that).
We ate lots of good food, lots of good shopping and plenty of walking a round. We met Laurie Cabot, she just happened to be in the store. I was "star struck", LOL! She was very nice and actually said goodbye to us.

People were much nicer this year. I think it was the difference between going on a off-week in October instead of the busy first week when the parade is going on. I was pleasantly surprised by that.

I didn't get too much for myself. I got an awesome pendant that broke the day after I got home, a cool shirt, an awesome bell for ritual and some misc stuff.

I think the most interesting thing I went to this time was a seance. It was interesting because it was neat to see someone else work in that capacity. There were 22 people in the seance and she felt like the real deal to me. She brought over 2 people that had family members in the audience. She then gave a "mini reading" to everyone in the circle.

When she got to me she talked about me being a leader, teacher or boss in some area of my life and that it was recent for me. She went on to mention that I have a lot of things in my head and that I need to write that book. And then said something about being on shelves.

Some people were disappointed with the experience, which I can understand but I was happy with it. I not only got something from what she said to me but mostly by watching her with everyone else. I thought it was a cool and different experience.

There is so much, and as I think of things, I will blog them.
Blessed Be!

I am back from Salem and trying to adjust to California time. The jetlag this time was much worse than last, I am not too sure why.

The plane ride both ways was good, the landing into boston was a little rough (lots of fog and rain at the time). Everything went smoothly, the shuttle was ontime, no lost baggage, planes ontime, etc. We checked into the historic Hawthorne Hotel (I will do a seperate blog on that).
We ate lots of good food, lots of good shopping and plenty of walking a round. We met Laurie Cabot, she just happened to be in the store. I was "star struck", LOL! She was very nice and actually said goodbye to us.

People were much nicer this year. I think it was the difference between going on a off-week in October instead of the busy first week when the parade is going on. I was pleasantly surprised by that.

I didn't get too much for myself. I got an awesome pendant that broke the day after I got home, a cool shirt, an awesome bell for ritual and some misc stuff.

I think the most interesting thing I went to this time was a seance. It was interesting because it was neat to see someone else work in that capacity. There were 22 people in the seance and she felt like the real deal to me. She brought over 2 people that had family members in the audience. She then gave a "mini reading" to everyone in the circle.

When she got to me she talked about me being a leader, teacher or boss in some area of my life and that it was recent for me. She went on to mention that I have a lot of things in my head and that I need to write that book. And then said something about being on shelves.

Some people were disappointed with the experience, which I can understand but I was happy with it. I not only got something from what she said to me but mostly by watching her with everyone else. I thought it was a cool and different experience.

There is so much, and as I think of things, I will blog them.
Blessed Be!

So we stayed in the Historic Hawthorne hotel. Prior to going to Salem, I had no idea about the history of the Hawthorne or any type of paranormal activity.

We checked in the first night to this beautiful place with loads of charm and uniqueness. I love it!! The lobby was decked out and classy looking, there was a altar with tons of pumpkins on it. And several f the pumpkins were huge!!

Our room was unique looking as well. It had two beds, a nice little desk, a TV, bathroom that consisted of a toilet and sink, a shower room that had only a shower in it and a closet.

That night we all went out to dinner at “the olde spot” formally McSwiggins. We got pumpkin icecream and went back to the hotel. Everyone went to bed around 10:00 and I was the last one down.

I turned off the lights after reading for a while and laid down. After a couple of minutes of laying down, I noticed two read dots on the ceiling. (almost like eyes, as crazy as that sounds). I tried to figure out the source of the lights but there was nothing. The room was pitch black.

From about 10pm to 4am I heard a series of running water/flushing sounds (which I assumed were the rooms above and on the side of us), had nightmares about a little kid (I think it was a boy) and a man (probably the father but not sure). I would dream, wake up, settle down and then start the dream all again. I was sitting there uncomfortable at the feeling of something pressing down on my chest.

At about 4am, Ariana got up to use the restroom and I asked her if she was able to sleep. She told me no and she was having bad dreams. When I asked her about what, she said a little kid. I am sure I don’t have to say how scared that made me.

When we woke up in the morning, the shower room door and the closet doors were both open and we are sure they were closed when we went to bed. We all talked about the experiences a little bit and then went on about the day.

The next night I took my candle and did a little blessing in all corners of the room. With a combination of the blessing, exhaustion and anxiety medicine, I slept thru the night.

On Thursday night we went on the haunted tour the guide asked if anyone was staying in the Hawthorne Hotel. She then proceeded to tell us that the hotel was haunted with a kid and a man. That the third floor was known to be haunted and there are reports of doors opening and closing on their own, things moving around the room and flushing toilets.

Should I know say that we were in room 309?

So after the tour I went to the hotel lady and asked. She said yes, it is all true. Scifi Channels, Ghost hunters were there 4 weeks ago and stayed for 2 weeks. It should air in January. She told us a lot of information about the hotel and past complaints and issues. In addition to telling us that the 3rd and 6th floors have the most complaints, including room 309, 321 and 324 or 325.

So, we will all make sure to watch the show in January!!

Well, I am have a massage permit in the city of pleasant hill, insurance, a business license and a office to work in. AWESOME!! The business is up and running in a functional kind of way, LOL. And this new office will lend the opportunity to teach classes or seminars too!

In addition, the goddess works in mysterious ways. Not only is the money part flowing but the clergy part is overflowing. I am still writing the two articles a month or paganpages.org and when i can for witchvox. I am mentoring students for our tradition. I am a Board member for the Wiccan Family Tradition international and working on developing two programs with the founder. My goodness!! I am also training to be a mentor with Correllian trad but am not sure of the status with that one yet. Things in my spiritual work are great.

So there is a quick update. More to come!!

Why is it that some people are so quick to grab and display that title without being ready to actually hold it? I am in a group of 481 "clergy" and can honestly say that there are so many in this group who have no tact, are rude and disrespectful or have no diplomacy to actually stand up to the title.

You cannot represent yourself as clergy but then act like an ass as soon as you open your mouth! Those two things don't go together. That doesn't make you clergy. It is only a lonely title that you have no idea of how to represent it. Anyone can have a title, it doesn't make you anything other than exactly who you are.

I have found (specifically in this group) that many are not fit to hold the title and need to be evaluated as such. They are not fit to teach or lead. And it makes it hard for those of us who are out here trying to walk our talk and actually be the role of clergy in our community.

Come on people, get over yourself. Your spiritual path is about you. Your clergy status is not about you, it is about the community and the people you serve (in the community!). You want to join a club and be cool, go back to highschool. You want to serve in the eyes of the goddess and walk and teach her people? Then humble yourself and do the job. Live up to the hype.