Rev. Crystal's Full Moon Blessings

There are so many wonderful people I got to meet or spend some measure of time with at Pantheacon.  Every year I feel like I meet great people but this year is different because it was around a lot of networking and quality discussions... not just a chance hello or introduction.  Of some of the people that I got to meet, I would like to give a shout out to some that really stuck out to me; Peter Dybing, Star Foster, Jason Pitzl-Waters, T. Thorn Coyle, Luisha Teish, Starhawk and other great people.  

Late night, early morning; up at 7ish to prepare for my 9am.  With about 4 hours of sleep, I got up and got dressed in my professional garb.  The seminar went well and it generated great discussions about Witch Wars, leadership and sustainability.  I enjoyed the seminar and was very pleased by the book sales from the seminar.

After the seminar I spent time shopping, volunteering time at the charity auction, bidding on items in the auction, a book signing in the vendor room and spending time with my friends and family.  Jon decided to stay another night and we spent time hanging out and going to see Pandemoneom perform for a bit.  We spent time laughing and hanging out with our friends in the hotel.  It was so wonderful to just be able to be present in that space and not worry about the demands of the world around us.

The next morning I got up early and went to the Pagan Newswire Collective seminar.  I am very excited about the opportunity to have media that is Pagan centered and what we might be able to build with those resources at our fingertips.  Wonderful things are happening!  In addition, I got to meet Star Foster and Jason Pitzl-Waters.  Very exciting stuff and incredibly awesome people.  I think Jason is a wonderful speaker and very professional in his delivery of information.  Star is vibrant, beautiful and fun.  I thought she had such great energy and it felt like we were old friends.  I look forward to building connections and friendships with both of these great people!

After the seminar I went for my book signing slot, then ate lunch with Jon and hung out in the hotel room.  When it was time to say goodbye to Jon, I had a hard time.  We had so much fun together and much needed bonding time.  After that I went back to shopping, spending time with friends, and hanging out in the live charity auction.  Amber K and Azriel were the auction presenters and Amber K is hilarious!!

We were quite successful at the auction and Kat is the master bidder!  She won a sword, harp and kilt.  Talk about a good time!!

The night ended with a Morrighan ritual done by T. Thorn Coyle and Sharon Knight.  Then off to see Haggis Revenge..... that is a whole other blog in and of itself.

More to come!

There are so many exciting and fun things from Pantheacon this year that I will probably break it up into several posts so that I have a chance to really process all the moments and things that happened.  I had a blast!  Let me first start with saying that and that I met some incredible people and got valuable feedback this year on my presentations and book.  Although it is always scary to write, present and put yourself out there in the public eye; it is a great experience to know that what I am doing can support others in some small ways.  That is the reason that I have always wanted to do this, not because I want the name or recognition (although recognition is nice), it is because I want to be able to support our community in learning what we need to continue to create healthy and productive dynamics with others.  I have been that person coming into the Pagan community and was taken advantage of and hurt.  I have seen others hurt and have hurt others without realizing the ramifications of my actions.  For all of those reasons, I am honored to be able to do this work and write about it for others.

I arrived at the Con on Friday about 12 and we checked in with little lines and got to our rooms to settle in.  After a small hotel room assignment mix up, we were on our way and I was excited to finally be at the event that I look forward to all year long.  My first seminar was at the 3:30 time slot and I thought that it would be a small crowd since people are just arriving and some are still working at that time.  To my surprise, the room was packed!  Thank goodness my husband, friends and other awesome people helped to put out more chairs and support the process.  I was so surprised by the amount of people that I became a little flushed and overwhelmed.  LOL!

The workshop (circle restore; Restorative practices in covens and circles) went very well and it seemed that people were interested, engaged and could relate to the issues at hand within the community.  This was exciting for me since it was validated to confirm that the lack of conflict resolution methods and training in our community has led to such hurtful situations all around.  Everyone participated and I got some great feedback.  I sold some books and it felt as if there was a nice buzz around the types of concepts we could extend into our community.

For the first time, I got to meet Peter Dybing (National First Officer of Covenant of the Goddess) in the workshop.  Peter reached out to me a couple of months ago after buying my book and has been such as awesome supporter for me since then.  He attended the workshop and was able to give me some constructive feedback to support making it even better.  (Thanks Peter!)

It was wonderful to have my friends and Jon there at the workshop to support me.  I felt great about the experience, even though I was so nervous I was sweating.  :)

After the workshop, I got to hang out with everyone, shop in the vendor area, eat dinner with the hubbie and go to the Pomba Gira (I waited all year for this).  We dressed up and went dancing for an hour.  My husband had such a great experience in the Pomba that I spent a lot of time trying to keep him on this side of the plane instead of being ridden all the way by the Umbanda Gods for the first time.  He loved it and I loved seeing him so engaged in the spiritual aspect of himself.  Pcon has a way of doing that for people.

After Pomba, we went to the room, hung out and spent some quality time nursing our feet after almost 2 hours of dancing.  I loved every minute of it.

That was the first day of a wonderful 4 day weekend experience.  More to come.

The last year changed life for me and the family dramatically.  The new year has brought a lot of beautiful things along with some sad moments of realization, understanding and facing of mortality once again.  While there continues to be a lot of adjustment on the parts of almost everyone in our home, there is still a lot to do in the area of healing and adjusting to all the changes that have happened in our lives over the last year and a half.

A year ago my mother died and this past week I have gone to the hospital twice to visit my aunt.  She was in remission from breast cancer and it has returned.  In addition, she is very sick with other issues that are even more pressing than the cancer and the doctors are battling several issues at once.

I won't go into all the gruesome details of my feelings and the reminders of sitting in the hospital with my mother.  Instead I will say that it is a wake up call that the ebb and flow of life's trials are constant and it is not about being able to stay at one place in life for long.  Change is the only constant, right?

I have been working hard at coming back to my spiritual self over the last year and have made great strides in the past several months.  Hypnotherapy is one of the things that has really pushed me beyond the limits that I set myself within.  Once again I am looking at my aunt and thinking that I must prepare to fall back into the faith that I have been rebuilding.  The Gods are guiding me in learning how to love, live and let go.  Some of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn.

So while I am considering what it means to hope you are not looking at the end of someone you love, I am also putting my faith in overdrive and pushing forward.  I know it is important for me to be present in this process with her and although it is a harsh reminder of the memory of my mother dying, it is also a honor to be there and sharing love when I can.

Finding spirit in the tough times can be one of the biggest and most difficult challenges there are but ones that can also propel us towards understanding things on a whole different level of spiritual connection.

This weekend marked the one year anniversary of my mother's tragic death and it was a relatively good weekend.  I did not think it would be but I am coming to remember some of the deeply spiritual things that I use to love about this time of year and I am trying to infuse them together with the memories of what I have lost.  I have been working a lot with the hypnotherapist around removing blockages and not allowing those old memories to taint the hope that I once carried so firmly.  It is working and little by little I am feeling more myself and more able to belief in the power of my own manifestation again.

So this weekend I celebrated the turning wheel of Imbolc by going to the gym and being present in the needs of my body.  Three days in a row at the gym was very uplifting and I feel great!  I have stopped smoking and tomorrow will make one week.  Thanks to Jenny (the hypnotherapist) planting the seed in my head that it would be a great present to my mother on her death anniversary.... it stuck and took hold.  I feel good about it and it is one more thing I am letting go of that is a result of her accident.  I started smoking again when she was in the hospital.  It was one of the only vices I had to take care of myself while dealing with the horrific situation.

I spent some time with a witchy friend and reconnected with her over coffee.  It was wonderful.  I have spent some time taking care of business at home and preparing for Pantheacon.  All things I needed to do for one reason or another.

So, with this turn of the wheel and the creeping energy of the sun peeking through, I chose to enjoy my weekend the best I could and honor the Gods for giving me another year to remember my mother with.  I know that if I continue to honor her in her life with me then she will truly live forever; as do the Gods and the ancestors.

May your Imbolc be blessed and filled with the knowledge that the dark half is ending and the light will once again return.

Sometimes a chain of events will lead to what feels like moments of chaos and unexpected series of events. That is what this week has been for me. With the combination of coping withtje anniversary of my mom's accident, dealing with sick kids, huge decisions and a stressful week at work, I am more than ready for a week of calming energy ti help rejuevinate the soul. While 2011 is going in the right direction to bring closure to the hos of last year, it is weeks like this that serve as reminders of what was almost all of last year.

I'm the new year I have made it a conscious decision to acknowledge that I am grateful those days are done and hopeful that when periods like this do happen, I know it is just a moment. I have been doing a lot of internal work to recharge the batteries that became so drained from the emotional demands of last year and those are the things I want to continue to be grateful for. Today I feel like I have some direction again and even though it is not all the way clear, I have some ideas as to where I am going.

Redefining a dream for myself has been one of the biggest challenges I have struggled with, my old dream depended on having my mom here and freedoms I no longer have. With that, it has been hard to see the visual but it is getting a little easier now.

So this weekend I am focusing on decluttering the last week from my energy, planning next moves and staying in a state of mindful gratefullness so that I cam be in a place for manifestation. And just maybe the full moon will support my weekend journey.

This has been an overall good weekend.  I was able to spend some time at the movies with the hubbie on Friday and going out to lunch since we had daycare.  It was nice to get out and be just adults.  Friday night (new Years eve) we stayed at home and drank sparkling cider with the kids and my two nephews.  Jon, Robbie and I did our little new year prayer for peace and happiness in the new year and then we lit candles.  

I went today to get my first session of hypnosis and NLP (neuro linguistic programming) after much consideration and thought.  I have looked into hypnotherapy a couple of times, starting about two years ago.  What better time to do it than when things are at the most overwhelming and I have had so many things that I am working to overcome within the last year of chaos and upset.  

I am not a huge around the thought of new years resolutions and wanting to be something different at the beginning of the year.  I have the usual thought that people use that one point in the year to be different than they are instead of working all year at making necessary changes.  This year I have the same beliefs and do not feel that I need the new year in order to make some decisions about myself.  Instead I would like to enter the new year of 2011 with a clean slate, leaving behind some of the things from 2010 that it is time to release and move beyond.  

I am excited for the end of 2009.  I look back at this year and see total overhaul from the previous year and all the goals I set for myself were suddenly changed.  While most of my goals last year revolved around completing my book and finding success in that accomplishment, at the end of 2010 most of my goals revolve around finding some level of peace and serenity.  The addition of two children and the loss of my mom has changed life as I know it and the family is finding ways to settle into the new course we have been set on.

I never considered life without my mom, it was the unimaginable task and yet today I find I am living it.  Although it doesn't feel real at times, I know that I am going through the stages of loss and contemplating who I am without her now.  I remember saying to one of my therapist friends at work that I wanted to go back to being who I use to be and he told me something that was told to him by a therapist when he was dealing with grief.  He told me that I was not that person anymore because that person had a mother.  I know what that means today.

So, I have survived one of the most rewarding and horrific years of my life.  I have written, completed and saw my book be published; a dream I have had for a long time.  And I have also suffered a loss that was so heartbreaking and traumatizing for everyone in my family.  As I move into 2011 I am working hard to hold on to all those things I love about this year and allow the universe to cleanse the rest.  I hold on hard to the memory of my mother as well, the good ones, the ones she would want me to remember and not the images that I saw from the last two weeks of her life.

Maybe if I can do this then I can pull the rest of the family along to a place of healing that continues into 2011.  That is the plan and the goal.

As the growing light of the sun creeps into longer days, it is the reminder that darkness and light exist because of each other.  One does not exist without the other.  So I will use the darkness to shed light on how grateful I am for the many blessings that I have and for the ones that have not come yet.

Blessed Yule, Solstice and New Years to everyone.  May your dark times shed a beautiful light that illuminates everything that is wonderful in the world.

Today's Thanksgiving and this is a huge day for the family.  We have not yet figured out how this is going to work for us but we know that today would've been the day that we celebrated with my mom and the whole family, like we had every other year.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

10:00 am to 4:00 pm

Interfaith Center of the Presidio

 

A gathering of peoples who practice Neopagan traditions, Afro-diasporic traditions, immigrant Pagan traditions, and Indigenous spiritual traditions from the Americas and around the world.

Keynote speaker Alejandrino Quispe Mejia is a native Quechua living in Peru.  He is Director of the Global Indigenous Initiative, an association of 14 tribes in Latin America working together to preserve native traditions. In addition to being a wonderful opportunity for building relationships between all the Earth religions, the event will include a sharing of practices used in the many traditions to bless a space.

Lunch provided, $10-20 donation requested to cover costs. Co-sponsored by the Interfaith Center of the Presidio, the Lost & Endangered Religions Project, the Spirituality & the Earth CC of the United Religions Initiative, and the Northern California Local Council of the Covenant of the Goddess.  For more information & to register, contact Don at earthreligions@ancientways.com or (510) 524-2078.

The title is a direct reflection of the ups and downs of the past week.  While some things are wonderful, some things are hard and those things take a toll. I got the copies of my book this week that that was very exciting!  It is a trip to see your own book in its physical form, hold it and fan through the pages.  It feels like it became real when i got to hold the book, even though it still doesn't totally feel real.  I don't know when it will feel totally real but maybe it shouldn't feel too real, it will motivate me to continue to write.  

The book is listed on the website and appears to be ready to order. This is an exciting moment for me and I am so glad to share it with everyone else. I have been working on this book since 2008 and more concentrated in 2009 and 2010. This was one of the things my mother really wanted to see..... me achieve this goal.

It is done Mom.... wish you were here to see it.

http://www.immanion-press.com/info/book.asp?id=399&referer=Hp

It has been months.  I have taken some time to try and figure out where things in my life are headed and I still do not have a lot of the answers.  I do know more than I did before though and I am just beginning to see some of the light at the end of the tunnel; or should I say within the process of grief.  Step by step I am trying to find peace in life when so much has been lost in the last 8 months.  

I really needed this four day weekend. It was really special and awesome. Friday Jon and I spent some quality time with just Robert, went to Fuddruckers for lunch and took Robert to see the new Shrek. We had a blast and he felt really special and he should because he is. It was a wonderful present.... but it didn't stop there.

My husband spent a lot of time planning the perfect birthday for me, he did a great job! Saturday we woke up early, finished doing some cleaning and set off for our adventure. We went to Emeryville, did some shopping, ate lunch and then checked into the hotel. We chilled and had some great conversation prior to getting ready for taking BART to the city. We got there with about 20 minutes to spare and took a host of pics outside of the theatre. The play was absolutley outstanding and both of us were completely amazed. After the play we grabbed some food and went back to the hotel for a night of relaxation and fun.

The next morning we hung out in the hotel and then went to lunch at Chevy's. We had some really good conversation and spent our time talking about the future planning for the family. After lunch we went to go see Date Night at the movies prior to driving home.

It was really nice to get away and have a weekend focused on what we wanted to do. It was much needed and something we so needed to do to sustain our relationship. Not to imply that we are bad because we are not, but so much focus has gone on everyone else that we have neglected ourselves in this process.

There are a lot of things that we both know we have to do to keep our mental health in all of the chaos of 2010 and one of those things include finding time for just us. This was a valuable lesson and one I plan on making sure we can do.

Jon and I have taken on a lot of responsibility in the last months and while others play we are always working to either pay the bills or raise this family. What I remembered this weekend is that this incredible journey we have been left to pick up the pieces from entitles us to more of a break than those who have the fun without the responsibility.

Our family deserves parents and guardians who are happy and that is my mission to make it so. And in the words of Wicked.....


Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

Sometimes work sucks and people suck more. Interesting to me how people can take hard work as a sign of something personal against them, I will never understand that. The reoccuring ridiculousness I have dealt with at work for the last three years resurfaced this week from what seems like nothing and yet I am so tired of dealing with it. My story is not unlike others who love their jobs and yet have to deal with people who don't have the job or the others around them best interest at hand. I left work on Friday discouraged, depressed, upset, irate and frustrated. I work way to hard for that.

So Saturday at the Pagan Festival in Berkeley I attempted to shed the bullshit from the day before and have a nice day out in the sun among my spiritual people. It was nice to be out and walking around, listening to the music, seeing the people and enjoying the sights. Randomly a lady walked up to me and said, "wanna pick a tarot?". I hesitated at first but thought, "why not".

I picked out a card and she took it from my hands and smiled. She said to me that I had picked the five of swords. She discussed the battle I am dealing with where people around me seem to be going out of their way to create problems. She talked about how part of the problem is that I am right and they KNOW I am right. She discussed how I might have to just take that and know that while also trying to help them save face by basically throwing my hands up. It made so much sense. I wish I could remember everything else she said, it was right on target.

With that being said, I think I now have some more insight into how I am going to proceed with this roadblock. Thank the Gods for the lady in white with the little wider waite tarot deck.

Things are hard and will be for a long time with the grief we are coping with. Things don't always feel right and most of the time they don't. So one of the things I am trying to do is celebrate the great things since the bad things have felt so all encompassing lately.

I am very excited about finishing my article for the Pagan Writers Press call for submissions for an upcoming anthology. I am excited about submitting and hoping it will be accepted.

I got my eye's tested and new glasses, took Robert to get his eye's tested and he has new glasses, finished homework for the last week, got my first article published as the Oakland Pagan Examiner and started writing another one. I have also finished a large part of the revamp of the Touch of amethyst site that highlights my weekly tarot readings. I am trying to have the things I am doing that are positive stay on the surface so I am not just looking at what is not feeling good.

I have also been spending some quality time with Robert reading at night. We have had some fun and it has felt good just being with him.

So now I am preparing for Beltane and hopefully something with the family to celebrate. We shall see how that goes.

I think of the rain this year as a welcomed cleansing of the year so far.  So much pain and sadness this year that the mother is crying for the pain of her children.  And in her pain, her tears have the power to wash away the hurt.... to see to a renewed spring that is to come.  

Call for Writers– Shades of Faith; minority voices within Paganism

Email for inquiries and submissions: 

Megalithica Books, an imprint of Immanion Press (Stafford, U.K./Portland, OR, U.S.A) is seeking submissions for an anthology on people of color working in magical communities.  This anthology will be an opportunity to get the voices and experiences of minorities within the Pagan community out to the world and address some of the challenges, stereotyping, frustrations and the beauty of being different within the racial construct of typical Pagan or Wiccan groups. These communities include (but are not limited to) groups and individuals working in Wicca, Voodoo, Umbanda, Shaman, and other Pagan paths.

Many of the roots of Paganism have come from the lands of people of color yet the mainstreaming of Wicca has elevated images of worship and deity that connect with Celtic, Greek or Roman cultures.  This can have an exclusive effect on those who's culture or ancestry fall outside of those categories.  Interestingly enough people of color within Paganism are often walking between the worlds of their birth ancestry and culture and that of their spiritual culture.  This anthology is an opportunity to share your stories and experiences with others around being a minority in our spiritual community.

Here are some suggested topics to give you an idea of the focus of this anthology.

Your experience of integration into the Pagan community

Magical work 

Ancestor work

Integrating your birth culture with your spiritual workings

Personal experiences and thoughts around how being of color within the Pagan community was significant.
What magical work are you doing now? How do you describe it? Do you work alone, in a group, or in several settings? 

Your birth culture and spiritual workings

Stereotypes and prejudice
Being the only person of color in a coven, group or community

Sharing your culture and history with other Pagans

Cultural history

Sub-culture of African Americans, Hispanics or other minority groups within Wicca or Paganism.

Is there a sense of acceptance within the magical community you work in? Do you encounter resistance in your magical community or acceptance? 

What do you feel is needed to be more inclusive of racial diversity in Pagan communities

Rough drafts are due July 15, 2010. These drafts will be edited in a back-and-forth process with the editor. Essays should be 1500-4000 words, although if your work falls outside those limits, do submit it – we can discuss this during the editing process. Drop us an email if you are unsure whether your idea fits into the content. The sooner you start the communication process the better, as after the deadline we won't be considering additional ideas.

Essay requirements:
• Citations for all quoted, paraphrased, or otherwise unoriginal material
• Bibliography of works cited
• Prefer APA format

Do write in your voice! If you're academically inclined or trained, feel free to be as intelligent and technical as you like. If your work entirely talks in the first person about your own experience, please include this also. There is a wide range of voices, and we are interested in being as inclusive of style as possible.

Accepted contributors will receive a free copy of the anthology when it is published and additional copies sold at 40% off the cover price to contributors. All contributors will be provided with a contract upon final acceptance of their essays, not when they are accepted for editing. If your essay is not accepted for the anthology, we will tell you after the first round of edits.

The anthology will be edited by Crystal Blanton. She is the author of an upcoming pagan/occult nonfiction book called Bridging the Gap; Working Within the Dynamics of Pagan Groups and Society. She may be found online at http://www.crystalblanton.org and her email address for this anthology is crystal@crystalblanton.com .

Immanion Press is a small independent press based in the United Kingdom. Founded by author Storm Constantine, it expanded into occult nonfiction in 2004 with the publication of Taylor Ellwood's Pop Culture Magick. Today, Immanion's nonfiction line, under the Megalithica Books imprint, has a growing reputation for edgy, experimental texts on primarily intermediate and advanced pagan and occult topics. Find out more at http://www.immanion-press.com.