Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Interestingly I find that I get sucked into the darker side of thinking through a situation when something happens.  I sometimes find it hard to remember the good when the bad seems to be what is evoking a emotional reaction from me in the moment.  It takes processing on my part to transition out of that position and to a position of the balancing light that makes all things worth the effort.  This is something that I have had since being a child and something that I have worked on and continue to work on.  Although I see improvements, most of the time it is like a knee jerk reaction..... transition and processing time is much less though as I grow.

Going through the most recent changes in my life, the loss of someone I love and the gaining of two incredible souls; I have found that the cycle started at a more positive place from the beginning.  Almost like remembering that we have some choices in how we view or perceive the world in front of us and instead of reacting I have the power to set the course.

Staying in the place of light in this situation has reminded me that without the dark there is no light and all things are needed in our lives.  So this momentary patch of transition, frustration and uncertainty has been put in our paths to create more light.  

It is amazing how this process continues to unfold and I am able to recall the importance of love around me with the people I choose in my life.  My coven sisters reached out on their own and bought a crib for one of the grandchildren just to show their love for me, my family and the process.  It was like a smack in the face to remember that I am a very lucky person with lots of support, love and spirit working in my life.... even without my knowledge.

So in the year of 2009 (the year of the 9) coming to a close, endings are here and new phases emerge.  I am excited to go into a new transitional phase remembering the beauty in my life and the greatness of the people around me.  I am truly blessed.



Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Life is forever changing and growing to new places and what seems like the unattainable goals.  In reality all goals are attainable but.they feel so far from grasp, so out of reach.  This year has been the ongoing challenge of maintaining balance in a world that is so far beyond the concept of it.  Right when things seem to even out, another swing of the pendulum puts things out of balance and only time will allow for the pendulum to slow.

Gratefully we are going into a new year in less than a month and this allows for new hope, new opportunities and renewed thoughts.  I have been set on another adventure and I am grateful that I have the resources to follow through with what is needed of me and this family.  Two pairs of eyes are added to the fold of the Blanton family and spirit will guide us all in meeting their needs. 

So in concepts of balance it is not always as we think it will be.  Maybe we are meant to deal with one side of the pendulum in order to help others avoid it.  If this is correct then I happily will stand in to do what is asked of me and then some.



Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Well, life has it's way of getting busy when you want to slow down, doesn't it?  I am in the process of preparing for my National Novel Writing Month challenge (nanowrimo) that starts November 1st and I am waiting for the second editing revision from the editor.  Once I get the edits back, I will have about a month to turn it around, maybe less.  As things get closer it feels like the pressure just increases.  I do not have a release date yet but can imagine that I might have some more answers after this next part of the process.

School is going good.  I am currently taking Child and Adolescent Psychology and Sociology.  I am on the Dean's list for the second semester but amazingly that just adds more pressure as well.  it is exciting to get that acknowledgment since I have always felt I missed out on a traditional higher learning experience when I was younger but now as an adult who is already established in her career, these types of events make me feel like I "have" to get a good grade or else it puts my experience in question.  Silly, I know but it is just thoughts that come up.  After this next semester is over..... in like 9 weeks, I will officially be a Junior in College.  LOL!!

Things are shifting in other areas too.  I am transitioning out of my position as the Clergy Weaver in FWTI so I can focus more on being the "Second" of the Board of Directors and acting Director of the Board right now.  I am excited to hand that position over to a very well deserving and talented person!  I am also getting ready to do my first ritual elevating someone to third degree.  This is a huge experience for me and I am very excited.  I am trying to plan it right now and look forward to the process.

other than that..... I am preparing for coming events.  I am looking forward to closing the year and beginning anew.  I am grateful for the opportunity to do so.  Last Saturday night I went to my monthly tarot group (Berkane Babes) and had a great reading done for me.  part of what the reading was saying was to feel confident that I could do this and also to step up to the plate and not be so concerned with others..... just do it.  In the words of the reader, "man up!".  So that is my mission over the next transition.






--
"When you become aware of silence, immediately there is a state of inner still alertness.  You are present.  You have stepped out of thousands of years of collective conditioning" - Eckhart Tolle.   "Blessed Be oh Yemaya!! Yey Omo Eja" - "Mother Whose Children are the Fish"


Friday, October 02, 2009
The click of the wheel descends into a darkening spiral as we move into another phase, the shadow side of our land and of our lives.  With Samhain quickly approaching, it is the visual reminder that fall is here and death is coming.  I am not talking of physical death but of the death of the old to make way for the new beginning that will come when the land is ready to receive. 

For those who know me or have been reading my blog for a while, you know that although fall is my favorite time of year, the dark half of the year is always a hard time.  I have worked very hard to take the anxiety out of that time and am somewhat successful but I keep it a conscious thought that the coin flips over and I better be prepared. 

The inner reflection of the dark half is always hardest, looking inside at the emotions that are triggerd by the chain of events.  And although we all know that these events stretch us and help us grow, that does not take the sting out at the time.  Like with a tattoo, you know the ending will make a stronger and more beautiful you but the tattoo itself still hurts like hell. 

I have already seen the dark half working it's magic and shifting shadows where things are now revealed.  I already know that this will be a brilliant year for growth and pray it is not too painful for us all in the process but I feel the shift this year.  I feel the shift, not only in the earth but also in the energy of the human spirit and the struggle. 

As times are already hard while in the light, the anticipation of the dark is ever looming.  This has already been a challenging year for so many. 

As we prepare for the holidays, the death of the god, the dying sun.... let us remember that those things that keep us whole are the shields of love we build inside of ourselves and around us.  All things start from within and yet cultivating and recognizing the love and strength we have built within with our families and friends is also essential.  Take no one and nothing for granted, not even yourself and do whatever keeps you connected in love and joy.  And if patience is the key to all things then let love, compassion, acceptance, honor and peace be the door we get to open.

May you be blessed this coming season.






Tuesday, September 22, 2009
One of two times a year when the alignment of the world is in line with the things I am aspiring for in my own life.  Everyday that passes is another chance to achieve the goals set before me and each day I continue to strive for just that.  Finding the internal balance between what I expect of myself and what the world expects of me has been key in navigating what I need to do for my family and for those who depend on my sanity.  (those poor souls)

In reality I think 2009 has shown me that balance is not something you achieve and then you are set.  Balance is something that requires constant work and, like with a see-saw, it is a fragile act of give and take.  Without the flexibility of empathy, understanding, forgiveness, acceptance and accountability, the tipping of the scale to either side could be a permanent shift that doesn't recover.  the real art to balance is knowing that there is no such real thing.  Balance is what we create, it is not a set pattern that exists the same for everyone.

My scale has been altered this year because of unforeseen circumstances and now the skill of redefining "balance" is what I am working towards.  Each day I am closer, each day it makes more sense why I am in this battle to begin with. 



--
"When you become aware of silence, immediately there is a state of inner still alertness.  You are present.  You have stepped out of thousands of years of collective conditioning" - Eckhart Tolle.   "Blessed Be oh Yemaya!! Yey Omo Eja" - "Mother Whose Children are the Fish"


Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Priestessing is a hard job.  No one tells you the amount of responsibility that comes with becoming a High Priest or Priestess until it is far enough down the road that you know there is no turning back.  and in reality, there is no way to possibly understand what that responsibility means until it is yours.

Walking in the role many times puts you at odds with people you love and can give you some sadness as well.  It can also be a rewarding place to be when someone is fulfilling their destiny and you have the opportunity to watch.  Regardless of the ups and downs of priestessing, the reality is that it is a hard job and one that can leave you feeling awfully isolated at times.

I think it is important for us all to remember that the Gods reasoning is not always ours and we will not always understand the road that lays ahead for ourselves or for those we support.  It is the road with many beginnings and a myriad of possible endings but none the less it will be filled with the necessary lessons that need to be acquired.  I may not understand those lessons but they are ever present and we all have to learn them; whether willingly or by being brought to our knees.

May we all learn the lessons without too many bruises.

Saturday, September 05, 2009
The business of family life, being a full time counselor, High Priestess, mentor and author is a hectic and crazy balancing act.  I don't know how I got here but it has morphed into one of the most challenging of positions.  I enjoy the challenge but know that the energy I spend fulfilling these obligations have to be replenished somehow.

The past two weekends have been doing just that for me.  I went to a dreaded work retreat and was pleasantly surprised at the role this retreat played in helping me self care.  I got put in a condo on the beach with a view of the ocean in a room to myself.  I stayed up late eating cheetos and listening to the silence while I played on the computer.  I slept soundly to the sounds of nature and the rolling waves while I was suppose to be preparing for the upcoming work schedule.  The reality was that this moment of solitude was one of the most important reminders I could have gotten on how to take care of myself.

The next weekend was full of adventures that filled the driving force i have as a Pagan to connect with nature and with the Gods.  My mom, melissa and two of the kids went to the Egyptian Museum in San Jose.  it was beautiful and I promise to post some pictures in the near future.  it was a great day of reflection, sights, bonding and relaxing.  Seeing some of the images served as gentle reminders of what I do and what I am.  I felt wonderful in the atmosphere of history and deities.  On Sunday we went to Muir woods and sat in the woods listening to nature and seeing the wonders.  My mom, Jon, Kev, Robbie, melissa and Nayeli went and had a ball.  i bought a walking stick made of redwood to use as a staff and my mother got one too.  Being in the redwoods always reminds me of my spiritual core and coming to a place of balance.  it was beautiful.  Thursdays fullmoon was celebrated on the labyrinth surrounded by candlelight.  I walked the labyrinth and thoughts of all the accomplishments I have manifested this year and allowed the stress to roll away under Yemaya's moon. 

this weekend is beginning to be in the same theme as the priors.  Today was a tour of two metaphysical shops for Melissa, a nice lunch and spending time with the family.  Tomorrow is Roberts Bday so we are planning on relaxing in the sun and spending time with my boy.

Take the time out to enjoy all the wonderful things that may seem small but hold so much weight in the grand picture of life.  We all deserve happiness and balance in order to continue the road to fulfilling our highest good.  I am trying to remember mine, do you remember yours?

--
"When you become aware of silence, immediately there is a state of inner still alertness.  You are present.  You have stepped out of thousands of years of collective conditioning" - Eckhart Tolle.   "Blessed Be oh Yemaya!! Yey Omo Eja" - "Mother Whose Children are the Fish"


Monday, August 24, 2009
It is interesting how we all naturally question what is happening in our lives, especially when something comes up that we don't want to do.  A recent work retreat has been such a hard event for me to come to terms with for various reasons and because of this, it felt like I was being forced to do something I couldn't do.  After releasing that feeling and surrendering to the fact that I was going on this trip, I went and am glad i did.

This trip turned out to be in the belly of Yemaya, right on the beach with visions of the beach everywhere.  after fearing having to share a room with people I didn't know, I ended up with my own room full of peace and inner reflection.  What I realized once I was here was that I needed this.  I needed to get away from the chaos and allow myself to just spend time with me.  In the process, I am connecting to the Yemaya within and out in the oceans.  I have missed her constant influence in my life since I have allowed my stress to block a lot of the messages she normally sends.

I went to the store and bought a spirit candle since I left mine at home.  I am now sitting with the ocean at my back and peace in my mind.  How exciting it is to have enjoyed and experienced this.  I truely need it and will try to remember not to doubt my blessings in the future.



--
"When you become aware of silence, immediately there is a state of inner still alertness.  You are present.  You have stepped out of thousands of years of collective conditioning" - Eckhart Tolle.   "Blessed Be oh Yemaya!! Yey Omo Eja" - "Mother Whose Children are the Fish"


Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Interesting how life just seems to shift without giving you a chance to catch up.  It is like a wind that happens; pushing past the structures you have built, whizzing through your goals and stirring up your dreams.  In one moment you find that you have to reassess where you are and where you thought you wanted to go.  Interesting how life seems to shift you into another state of contemplation on your life and your journey.

In one year it my life has shift has been continuous and drastic and for a lot of people that I know.  I am not alone in this re-shifting of the universe.  Some people may attribute the changes to categories of good or bad but I am just trying to grasp the changes themselves, not judge them.  As I am a firm believer that the Gods put you in a place to constantly revisit your needs and your commitment to your path; I know this is where I am in my life.  I have, in many ways, taken on parts of the qualities of my Goddess.... becoming the mother figure to many inside and outside of my household.  I never fully understood how taking on the vow to a deity could open that door.  And as I am learning to adjust to this new found role, this new existence, the new expectations;  I am also learning more about myself and who I really am at the core.

Learning to release to the will of my personal higher power is trying in many ways since it goes against my nature of needing to control the variables in my life; helping me to avoid being hurt.  For this reason, I know I am being challenged to grow again and to become more of what I look to my Gods for. 

Knowing that acceptance is the Key to Growth, I will honor this ever turning wheel of unexpected leaps in faith as I continue on this journey.  With less than a year before the release of my book, I feel I a getting the opportunity to jump to yet another place that will increase my ability to be empathetic with my community and with those I might have the pleasure to support.

May you be blessed as I am learning to accept my blessings.
 "Blessed Be oh Yemaya!! Yey Omo Eja" - "Mother Whose Children are the Fish"

Crystal

Sunday, August 16, 2009
There is a new fan page on facebook for all you facebook users, new twitter page that is now linked to the website on the side panel AND blogs have been updated from previous entries.  There is a link to the facebook page on the front page of the crystalblanton.com website if you would like to participate.  The older blogs that have been added give some insight into my process and achievements that have helped me become a High Priestess and helped to fashion some of the writing in my upcoming book.

Blessed be!

I am testing me new ability to post via phone....
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The new year has been a rush of new things, achieving goals, new people in my life and responsibility. I don't know that I could have prepared myself for all the things that have come but I am grateful because I get to work towards goals and relationships that I have been wanting for a long time.

The best news today is that I have had the chance to meet my grandchildren today. I saw in person my grandson Adrian and the new baby girl Niela (which I probably spelled wrong). Of course they are both gorgeous and I see so much of the Blanton family there. The girl is only a couple of days old and paternity is in question right now but once we were able to see her, for me atleast... I am pretty damn sure. There are too many similarities for her not to be. She has the nose, the skin, the cricked "Blanton Toe" that they all have.

Adrian is beautiful and I was so happy to hold him and kiss on him. What a beauty....

Keith is doing good and is coming home on the weekends. He will be home fulltime in about two weeks. We are planning out what his schedule will be when he is here fulltime. He will have a job that seems to be already lined up, which is good. And we are going to be signing him up for some courses.

And then the other BIG news I have is that my book has been signed. I am have a deadline for July 1st and am working hard on the final manuscript. I sent in the contract last week and I am excited yet anxious and scared at the same time. This is one of the things I have been waiting for and I am blessed to have this opportunity. I will be published with Immanion/Megalithic Publishing.

So.... That is the news. I will try and keep updates flowing as they come along.
Blessings!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Pcon this year was a blessing from start to finish. I got a chance to unwind (in a matter of speaking) without kids needing my full attention and be with fellow magical people at the witch event of the year.

There were many wonderful things that happened this year, including but not limited to joining with Lydia, Stone, TreeBear and Jenna, awesome roommates, fun shopping, great rituals, a beautiful and memorable dedication ritual of a fellow sister, several potential dings for publishing, a memorable meeting with Selena and a pretty smooth workshop with more people than I expected to come.

I am now back to the grind, getting together the last peices of my book proposal to send out to those whom I promised. I am grateful for the positive connections and even more greatful for the good times.

blessings to all.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
For those who know me well, you know that I have always called myself a closet revolutionary. I believe in the power of change and the many methods we as a people have had to go through to obtain equality. Whether this refers to race or religion or general human rights. While the media (rightfully so) has focused on the positive change happening right before our eyes with the presidency of Obama, I have also been reminded of the continued need for change. It is easy to think that since we have a black President (woohoo) that the world or the United States has reached the level of equality between our races. this could not be more wrong.

The positive strides towards equality and change does not take away from the continuous injustices that happen. Although it is a damned good start.

For us Californians, we have watched the Bart shooting of Oscar Grant over and over on the news and for me it still doesn't seem like enough. The sheer brutality of these types of situations came to us in an undeniable way, even though these injustices have continued to happen repeatedly in urbanized areas and is not new. It is easy for those who are not around this type of community to assume that these things don't happen and in reality, they happen too much.

The newest development of another officer punching Oscar Grant in the face, just prior to him being shot in the back by the Bart officer has me enraged. Watching a video of this young man being assaulted and then shot by those who are in a uniform feels like one of the biggest violations of our human rights within this country. What do we have if the very people who are to protect us are the ones who we have to fear.

Now, let me be clear.... This is nothing new for those who have to live in this type of environment and live this life everyday. I am lucky and have had the opportunity to remove myself and family from living within the energy of the inner city, to a certain extent.

The voice of the people came out when they rioted and protested the streets of Oakland two weeks ago. Riding down the streets of Oakland to work and seeing the destruction can be disheartening. But at the same time, seeing the pictures of Oscar Grant, memorials painted in his name and a call for justice gives me hope. Signs stating "no justice no peace" are posted all around the city. In a community so devastated by crime, drugs, poverty, unemployment and sadness.... we still have a sense of pride and a knowing that we must be heard.

In the days and weeks after the riots, we have seen a large response from the people in charge. The officer was arrested, Bart finally (after more than 10 days) reponded to the shooting, now the other officer is being investigated for assault and attention is being put into a broken system.

We have also seen the FBI come into Oakland and start an investigation of the Oakland Police Department, sparked by several different things. One of those things was a man who was kicked to death by an Oakland Police officer, who is now the head of the Police internal affairs department. He is also suspected of getting other officers to cover this up.

And let's not forget the Oakland Riders, those 3-4 officers (maybe more). Here is a clip from an SF Gate article by Chip Johnson in 2005, "After two criminal trials, a lawsuit that the city settled by paying $10. 5 million in damages to 119 victims, and a court order that has placed the Oakland Police Department under the supervision of a federal judge, the Riders have walked away again."

As black people, we are not oblivious to the sacrifice we have had to make to seek justice. And it is easy to think now that there is no need for us to continue to fight. Things are different right? Things have changed..... Prejudice, police brutality, racism, racial profiling.... all those things are in the past, right?

Please, open your eyes. I am not calling for rioting and destruction but I am saying that the time is too crucial to think that we are not still in a state of inequality. Let us not be fooled to think that because something is one way for us that is like that for all others. Let us not think that just because we have a black president that we no longer have grave racism in this country. Thank goodness we don't all have to riot but I respect those who have sacrificed their freedoms and done the things I can't or won't do in order to get attention where needed.

If it were not for those people we would not have had a civil rights movement, a Martin Luther King Jr, Malcom X, Huey P Newton and Bobby Seal, Little Bobby Hutton, Angela Davis, Cesar Chavez, Nelson Mandela, and the list goes on. We must continue to seek justice. We must continue to lead the path to equality.

Or else it might be my child, your child, your brother, your father, your mother, your friend or you who is beat and killed by the cops, shot at the BART station, framed for a crime, scared to call for help, prisoner in your community and potentially lose your future.





Hubbie and I

Hubbie and I

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