Wednesday, December 28, 2005
I am soooo excited that the holidays are over! The holidays always represent unreal expectations for people. That is one reason that I do not enjoy the commercialized mainstream holidays anymore. Everyone forgets what they are really about.

So since last blog post many things have changed. Neither of the older boys are home right now. It continues to be a hard road to travel but we have been hanging in there.

It is just Kevin and Robbie holding down the kid fort but we are doing ok.

On another tip, I have made a new friend in Georgia and what a wonderful person she is. She is the HP for a tradition and coven called the family wiccan tradition. I have been getting some much needed feedback from her about my spiritual path and it has motivated me to find some of the answers on my own. I have done a lot of meditating and feel that I truely know what my calling is and where my path is going. That is definatly growth for me! LOL

So, with that I am continuing to move forward on my quest to teach and heal. I am almost finished with acupressure school. I am very excited about that and actually met a teacher who inspired me soooo much. Her name is Alice and she is a wonderful human being. She spends her time between here and Africa helping the villiagers there. She was such a breath of fresh air and also a person who put some flame behind my spiritual behind, so to speak.

So, speaking on teaching....... I have a new article on witchvox and have been given two columns on a new ezine called paganpages.org. This month my two articles are pagan christmas and Wiccan ethics "Harm None". Check em out!

http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=usca&c=words&id=10254

http://paganpages.org/
Friday, November 25, 2005
Well, turkey day was good. It was nice to have a day where we did nothing but cook and be with one another, although we are missing one. We are saddened by the turn of events with one son losing his mind to the streets and extremely happy about having Jonathan back home. It is so strange how fate and life works. We lose one son to the streets only to get our other one back.

I am hoping that the lord and lady are looking after my son while he is out there searching for the lessons he has to learn. I only hope he doesn't pay with his life.

During Thanksgiving we all sat around and went around the circle telling what we were thankful for. It was nice to have everyone in the same room and being grateful for one another.

The dark half of the year has definatly taken a toll on this family this year but there is always a ray of sunlight amongst the dark. I am so looking forward to the rebirth of the sun so hopefully it will symbolize the coming of the light back to this family.

I must say though, we are hanging tough and continue to hold onto one another. We are continuing to be by eachother's side throughout this all.

Thanks the goddess for the good times so we can get through the bad.
Blessed Be!!!
Crystal
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I am having the hardest time getting Kevin into a suitable school that isn't full of kids who don't give a shit and an administration that doesn't either. It feels almost impossible to find a good school for our kids that is within our district or suitable. The red tape within our school system is ridiculous and impossible.

I am looking into Charter schools for I feel they are the wave of the future. Hopefully that will work out better than the crap public schools we are stuck with. We can continue to thank the terminator for the school improvement!

Crystal
Well, in light of my last post I thought it was a good reason to post this. For the last several nights Kevin, Robbie, Jon, my mom and I have been creating herbal bath salts and oatmeal milk baths for presents. It is such a great feeling to watch the kids get excited about creating things and working with herbs. Kevin did a great job and created some awesome recipes.

What a fun experience and something that any family can do. I don't know if the rest of the world gets such joy out of having herb time with the family but I do.

Blessed Be!
Crystal
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
For all the parents out there, I am sure this is a topic that hits home for all of us. It is an interesting thing to find spirituality and enlightenment and want to share it with those you love. But there is such a fine line between trying to raise your family with faith and enlightenment versus forcing beliefs on your family.

I know that I want my kids to feel the magic of life and know that there is something out there. I want to raise them in traditions that will pass onto thier families as they grow up. I want to give them the opportunity to find peace with the harsh lessons of life.

I find myself thinking about how to raise and run my family with tradition and spirit without forcing a path. I don't care what path they chose, just learning to do the footwork to find thier own spirituality.

So where do I start? I have been really thinking about what options I can chose to get them involved in activites that get them engaged in nature and spirituality. Hiking, picnics, cooking special meals, etc. Hmmmm............so much to think on.

I know that mainstream religious parents may not have the same trials that we do because thier holidays are open and recognized. It feels harder for me because I do not celebrate what the calender states.

The job of a parent never stops.
Crystal
Friday, November 04, 2005
Life is such an interesting journey. Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster that you can't get off of and yet you are not sure if you should get off.

In many ways I am very excited because my oldest son has come home. There isn't an emotion to describe the cross between excitement, happiness and fear but if there was then you would know how I feel.

I am hopeful at the thought that he is being given the opportunity to fix all the wrongs in his life. But of course we all know how hard it can be to appreciate the opportunities that are in our face. I hope he understands that everyone doesn't get a second chance and when you do you should grab it like there is no tommorrow.

How strange life is that I have felt saddened by feeling that I lost one son recently and then my oldest son reappears. I just hope that one day I will have all my family together again and healthy...........and whole.

My son Kevin is my rock. I don't know that he will ever fully understand that but I hope he knows how much I love him and look to his face for reassurance that things are ok. My son Robbie is my spirit. His excitement for life helps me face the world. Keith is always in my heart, no matter where he is. I can only hope that he learns his lessons fast and quick so he can move on and chose his fate instead of letting life take him hostage. Jonathan never left my heart. I shut the door to that part of my heart several years ago to shield myself from the pain and to perserve the image of that little boy I wanted to remember. I hope they all know that I am here for the long haul and once you become a parent, by blood or spirit, you can't just turn it off.

Although I feel all alone sometimes, I know that I am not. I can only hope that I can pass on some of the lessons I have learned in life to save my kids from learning them the hard way. Isn't that every parents hope? I can't always take away the pain but I can atleast give hope.

Today I am grateful to my faith, I know it is the reason I have continued to have the strength to open my eyes everyday and rise from the comfort of my bed to brave through a world that sometimes has no answers. I will continue to do the right thing when no one else is looking and face the storms of life, even when I feel I have no hat, coat or umbrella to shield me from the rain. I carry the power of the God, Goddess and Universe on my side, so I will march on.

Everyone deserves a second chance, I only ask that they take it. Once it blows away in the wind it is almost impossible to get it back.

Blessed Be.
Crystal
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Well, It has taken me a while to post about the recent events of life. So much has happened and there is so many places I could start, so I will start with Salem and good friends.

My trip to Salem, MA was awesome and it is hard to describe how much fun it was. I was in a strange place with two of my closest friends. I was able to spend some time with just me and my needs for a change. Salem was beautiful and the atmosphere was amazing. I have never been in a place where there was so many pentacles and pentagrams everywhere. THE CITY LOGO IS THE FLYING WITCH FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!

Jody, Christine and I got to go to several museums, reinactments/plays, and a ghostly footstep tour where we got pictures of orbs and one of a possible spirit!! And of course we got lots of shopping done. I am very grateful for such awesome and wonderful friends.

Things at home have been up and down. I have been suffering with panic attacks and recently went to the doctor who is performing some tests and prescribed some medication. In addition, the family has been dealing with the struggles of raising teenage kids in todays society. It is amazing how the world has changed and scary to think of where we are going.

But to the credit of the family, we are hanging in there and trying to dodge the turmoil that may come our way. I especially want to say that my son Kevin is such a strong soul and inspiration for everyone to continue to survive in a world that can feel so uncertain. I am grateful for that in my life.

The twins are awesome and beautiful. There faces remind me that there is peace in the world. I can't believe how fast they are growing and sometimes want to freeze time so I can just hide in thier innocence. I hope they love me as much as I love them, although I doubt they could ever imagine how important they are to a person like me.

Robert continues to run circles around everyone like he is on speed. Sometimes I wonder how to keep him grounded but then I remember that it must be a wonderful thing to only have to worry about whether grandma is gonna take you to target or walmart for a hot wheels toy. And it is in those moments that I remember how important it is to be able to be so free and I envy him. It is a blessing to be able to be around such a free spirit and look into his eyes that look back at me like my own. It is like looking into a mirror but the reflection shows an excitement about life that I am missing sometimes. It is a good reminder of how my eyes slant and curl up at the ends when I am smiling or happy. Just thinking about it makes me smile now.

The dark half of the year is definatly apon us but the witch's new years is right around the corner and with it comes an opportunity to let go of the past year and welcome the new. It is now a good time of year to work the dark/crone energy and release some of the things that keep us down. I hope everyone takes advantage of that, I know I will be.

Blessed Samhain everyone. Thank the goddess for another chance to learn the lessons the universe has to teach. Thank her for another turn of the wheel.

Blessed Be!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Ok, so the kids are back in school. Keith's first year of highschool and Kevin's first year of Jr. High. So far so good. Little glitches along the way but that is to be expected.

Keith is playing JV football for school and we are super excited about that. We went to the scrimage last friday in Vallejo and he did really, really good. We are so proud.

I took some pictures and I will upload them to the site really soon. There is a game this Saturday so I will post how it went.

Robert turned 4 on Tuesday!!! I can't believe it!! And Keith's birthday is Sunday the 11th and he turns 14!! Everyone is growing so fast and it is exciting and scary at the same time. I want so much for my kids and of course I am terrified that they will get caught up in the streets and bad choices. I don't think I have ever prayed so much in my life.

And last but not least, for the first time ever............................. Robbie pooped on the potty last night!!! And then an hour later he pee peed! Hopefully we are turning a corner with this diaper thing!

Blessings are a coming,
Crystal
Well............. Jody, Christine and I are going to Salem, MA for vacation the first week of October. We decided to do something nice for ourselves and go across the united states to check out all the cool exhibits, tours and shops, in addition to the October Fest they have every year. The Harry Potter convention is the same weekend.

So I am super excited and scared at the same time. I haven't been on a plane since jr high school, yikes! And this will be the first time I have left my baby behind since he has been born, my mom since she has been disabled and the whole family for that matter. I don't think I have gone on vacation without them since the beginning................. over nine years. So I am super, duper nervous and feeling guilty. But I will be fine and I will enjoy it to the fullest!

Only one month away............................
Sorry to post so late. I decided that since so many things have happened since I last posted, I would post a series of entries to update everything, instead of having one super long post.

I went on vacation with the family, Christine and Jody to reno. We rented a really nice three bedroom house in the residential area of reno. It had a nice covered sun deck and a hot tub.

We relaxed a lot and of course went to the casinos several times. Robert loved Circus Circus and keeps asking to go back to this day, LOL. We went to several buffets and ate till I almost popped at the Peppermill. They had such good food!

We went to the mall out there and did school shopping and had the opportunity to go and check out the local reno pagan shop.

We had a grubbin BBQ and ate way too good. It was a damn near perfect trip and even got to stop in Truckee to go to the Sweets Candy shop!

What a good way to enjoy some time off!
Crystal
Tuesday, July 05, 2005

And the wonderful Joesph. I wish you could see his eyes but I will post another one of both the babies soon! Posted by Picasa

Beautiful Gracie! She looks so much like her momma! Posted by Picasa

This is one of the best pictures that Marian has taken of Robbie. Posted by Picasa

Another pic of robbie! Posted by Picasa

Robbie again on Halloween Posted by Picasa

Keith and Kevin on Halloween 2004 Posted by Picasa

Robbie as Harry Potter on Halloween 2004 Posted by Picasa
Monday, June 20, 2005
So much has happened! The light half of the year has truely blessed us with the birth of Joesph and Gracie! They were born on June 8th at Kaiser Oakland. Joesph was 7 pounds and 20 1/2 inches. Gracie was 5 pounds 11 ounces and 19 1/2 inches. Wow, talk about some good sized twins!

Marian did awesome and is one of the bravest women I know. She was doubtful that she would be able to pull it off and she surprised herself. Hats off to her!!!!

Everyone is good and healthy, thank the goddess. And just like that, miracles are happening all around me.

A very special and awesome person came back into my life. She is more than a friend but a spiritual sister to me. She reunited with all of us from the group and it has felt so complete. What a blessing. And it is almost like we were never seperated. Everything fell right into step again, just like it was meant to be. Welcome back Jody! It is so great to have your awesome personality back in the mix!

Everything and everyone else is good. I finished my reiki classes and obtained level three, reiki master and teacher level. That was a good acomplishment for me!

I had another article posted on witchvox. It was on the front page for a week and now it is listed with the other articles. It was posted on May 8th and I meant to give out the info earlier. But you can still see it on the site with this link.
http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=usca&c=words&id=9220

Hope you enjoy it! It was fun to write and I bet you could guess where a lot of my motivation came from, LOL!

I will be posting pictures of the twins soon!

Many blessings,
Crystal
I was going through some old disks and found a poem I wrote about a year ago. Or something like that. So I thought I would post it and share. Hope you enjoy!


Coming out of the closet

In my eyes I am whole,
I know how to heal my soul.
I am one with the universe and blessed with her grace
I have found myself and things have fallen into place

I now understand….I can see
I feel the changing of the seasons inside of me
Maiden, Mother, Crone…. inside of me I feel
Season’s change with each turn of the wheel

I feel the spirit in my heart
I see the god in the trees
I feel the goddess in the breeze
I am rejuvenated by water’s embrace
My blood warms with fire’s grace

I know I have been here before,
I know I will come again,
A place for me waits in Summerland

I am a woman, I am a mother,
I am a daughter, I am a sister,
I am a friend,
I am a goddess……..
I am a witch
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Well, first off I will say...........Thank the goddess for the coming of the light! This has been a very interesting dark half of the year with a lot of transition and change. Some ups and downs, some more extreme than others.

Life is still super busy and stressful but I am hanging in there and doing a darn good job of it so far. I am still working and unsure if layoffs are going to happen in July. I have worked real hard at a plan and I feel confident in the plans I have now. Financially we will be good so I can atleast exhale.

Beltane was great. We had it at our friend Willow's house and everyone's family and friends were able to come and participate. Jon and the older boys came. We all had lots of fun doing the Maypole, ritual and a bonfire. The kids especially liked the maypole and the bonfire. It was nice having them there to be a part of the festivities and not be excluded from the celebrations.

All the women were great and supportive with everyone's friends and families. Keith called in the God with me and I was very proud of him. We called in the green man because he liked him the best.

Marian is still pregnant and ready to pop. She is 34 weeks and counting. It is getting really hard on her and I hope she has a speedy delivery. She's hanging in there like a trooper but it is taking it's toll on her.

I finished my first degree again!!! I was pleased about that and felt a real sense of accomplishment. So I am moving on in my studies to the second degree and almost finished with my requirements to get clergy through this tradition as well. I am glad to be moving on to the next phase. Although I went through the first degree with the last "group" I was in, I now know it was not an honest process. At first I was a little resentful to do it all again but I am glad I did, I learned what was missed by doing it the second time. If I hadn't I would have never known the wholes that had been left out. Interesting how life happens like that.

I finished reflexology class and that was fun. Lots of stuff to remember and work on. My next class in Intermediate Acupressure which is in May.

I got my second degree Reiki attunement about 2 weeks ago. In about a week or so I will be moving onto masters level Reiki. I am excited about that as well.

Well, until next time.
Blessings times 3!
Crystal
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Well, the past month has been busy, busy, busy. Let's see.............hmmmm.......................Lots of things happening.

Marian is good. The babies are moving and getting so big. We now know for sure that one is a boy and one is a girl. And it looks like the names are gonna be Joesph and Gracie. It is so cute because Robbie knows that there is 2 cousins in TiTi's belly and thier names are Joesph and Gracie. He is so cute.

School is going good. I am currently reviewing my fundamentals of acupressure class and doing Reflexology class. I don't know how I am gonna ever remember all of this, thank goodness the school has a lifetime review policy so I can review classes as much as I want, forever.

I am in the process of doing a brand new website that is bigger to accomodate all of the info for the ceremonies/clergy stuff, jewelry and acupressure/massage/reiki. Oh! That is something new too. I joined a reiki group and got my first degree in reiki. I am now working on my second! I am very excited about that!!!!

So I will post the link to the new website when it is up and running......... Business is good. I got the opportunity to be included in a venture that provides psychic parties. This lady is very cool and does channeling (she is very, very good!), so she has these parties and I have been asked to have my jewelry at the parties. I am very excited about that and my first party is at the end of this month.

Oh and I have less than 3 weeks left to get my first degree again and I am really excited. After that I will do the package (which I have already started) to be clergy with them as well! And on to second degree I will go...................... So much has happened and been accomplished since leaving that bad situation last year. It has been 9 months or so and look at the progress when I stepped out of that box. I am really proud of that.

The family is doing good. The kids are doing well and getting ready for the coming summer. They are all growing so fast and it is amazing to watch them sometimes. Keith is going into Highschool this fall and Kevin will be in Jr. High. WOW!!!! It scares the crap out of me. It is so crazy to love someone so much and not have absolute control of thier actions and choices. I mediate on that a lot.

Well, spring is here, the equinox has past. We await the joining of the lord and lady on upcoming Beltane. Many seeds have been planted for this upcoming season and hope, change and transformation is in the air! I know this year holds many things for me and I am looking forward to it!

Many blessings and Ostara/Spring Equinox wishes.
Crystal
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Well, thought it was about that time to check in and update everyone on my life. It's busy, busy, busy!!! And I am exhausted but things are settling down a little.

I have been spending the last couple of weeks rehersing and preparing for the graduation at work. It's this friday so that will be over this week. I am working with my boss and friend to prepare the choir and then several of us women staff are performing 2 songs ourselves. So that is lots of fun!

School is good. Tonight is my last fundamentals class so i am excited about that. It is good to see things being completed, feels like I am accomplishing something.

Helping with baby showers and watching the belly grow is fun. Marian is getting bigger and has the perfect round belly. She is doing good and hanging in there with good spirits. She is 6 months and counting. Can't wait!

Spent the night with Christine and Linda in a haunted house on Presidents day. It was a lot of fun and Christine is still insisting that it is not haunted but Linda and I know better, LOL! It was a nice house looking at the delta in Antioch. Of course Christine spoiled us with homemade Chilli in bread bowls, homemade guacamole, cake and lots of snacks! We sat, ate, talked and watched Charmed. Then Christine and I stayed up until 3:00 in the morning reading. Friends are great! Thanks girls!!!

Oh and I went to my dad's wedding. He is happy and it was nice to spend time with family. I got the chance to see my brothers, which is always a treat. The church thing was uncomfortable but I got through it, thank the goddess.

Well, I will check in with everyone soon! Ostara is coming and spring in the air. I will definatly write around Ostara with blessings,
Crystal
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Greetings all. I have some good news to pass on. I started my classes with the Acupressure Institute. I was able to pay for the course in full and buy my massage table. I took the first class, Basic Acupressure, this past weekend and I start another one, fundamentals of acupressure, on Thursday. It was great and I am learning a lot. There is so much to remember!!! I went home after class on Sunday and gave my mom and Jon a 40 minute treatment.

Needless to say I am just trying to remember all the acupressure points and stuff now.

Everything else is good. I am currently sick with the flu so I have been trying to take care of myself. It sucks but oh well. I know so many people who are sick right now. That's what happens when the government messes with the flu shots. Another topic............................

I have been really enjoying the new group of witches that I hang with. They are lots of fun and I am learning lots of new things. I am honored to be with such a wonderful group of spiritual people, it is hard to find. I think I really am understanding that everything happens for a reason. I am glad that I went through the drama with the old group in order to meet all the wonderful people. It was worth it in the end.

Well, my dad came to my job and told me that he is getting married. He is also moving to Mississippi. I am not to happy about the moving part at all but I am glad he found someone who makes him happy. (Extremely nervous about going to a church wedding but oh well....)

Well, I feel myself picking up more momentum with the growing sun. I am looking forward to the changing season and the coming of spring. I feel good about the coming year, energy is good and opportunities are knocking.

By the way, Marian had the ultrasound and it looks like a girl and a boy. It is a boy for sure (they saw the tools) and looks like a girl. We will know for sure on the next ultrasound. Marian is growing real big and she is doing great. I can't wait. AND looks like there is another addition to the family because James proposed! So Marian is sporting a beautiful ring and a beautiful belly. WELCOME TO THE FAMILY JAMES!!!!!

Blessings of light and love,
Crystal
Monday, January 17, 2005

picture of the boys on Christmas with Jon dressed as Santa. Posted by Hello

me sitting at my computer at work and testing my new camera phone Posted by Hello
Well, the new year is off to a great start. I have definatley felt the effects of the dark half of the year but I am on the up swing and feeling much better. December was a real dark month for me but I did a ritual on new years and it is doing it's job. So let's see..................................

Family is doing good, survived Christmas and the new year. (thank goodness!) Marian is well and the babies are good. They are growing so big and her belly is showing. She has felt a couple of kicks and we get to find out about them at the ultra sound in a week.

All my sister's in the group are good and we are all growing closer everyday. It feels right and I am greatful for that. We all did an awesome new moon and the energy was amazing. I haven't felt anything like that in a long time, or ever. Incredible......

I have decided to pursue my massage therapy education, so I will be starting classes in February at the Accupressure Institute. I am very excited about that...........

I am continuing my first degree lessons (again) and I am nearing the end. I have been talking with my mentor and getting all my info for becoming clergy with the Correllian tradition and becoming a first degree mentor. That is exciting to me and I am glad to do my first degree again. I am learning lots of stuff I didn't learn the first time and getting to review other things. So it has been a good experience for me.

Oh, and I got a new Tarot deck for X-mas!!! And I have been doing awesome reading for others and myself.

So...... to sum it all up, I am feeling much better, making positive decisions, continuing to build positive relationships and ............................... doing ok.

Crystal





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